We are living in a time when validation is probably the most sought after thing (right behind security, which is the next topic). When it’s time to make decisions, we reach for the phone or the computer or flip on our favorite network to find some way of adding credibility to our choices. It’s as though everyone is an authority except the person making the decision!
For example, I bet some of you clicked on this post as a means of validating your desire to stop seeking validation! With that said, I’m selfishly glad you did.
Mwahaha.
Personally, I have a horrible need to feel validated by external sources. When my beliefs or practices shift, I need to know that the path I choose is acceptable (or at least defensible) in the external world. Google has become the means by which I try to find acceptance regarding my body, my workout preferences, my political views, and my religious beliefs.
Until last night.
Talking with a beloved friend, she pointed out to me that my obsessive need to research and validate myself from the outside pointed to a lack of authority and self-acceptance within. I hadn’t considered this. After all, if I recognize my own God-given authority in my life, and if I accept myself as a being that was created “good,” then what need have I for the approval of others? This is especially puzzling when one considers how fickle and temporary such approval can be!
It’s true that humans are social creatures and want to feel like we belong. However, this sense of belonging shouldn’t lead to self-flagellation, denial, and self-editing based on what everyone else deems acceptable. Rather, the feedback from those we love and care about should either be accepted or rejected based on how it resonates within us, especially since WE are the one’s living our life! Further, if the people around us keep insisting that we cover-up or change our self-expression in order to “fit in,” that probably isn’t a group interested in loving us so much as who we could be if we abide by their standards.
Who has time or energy for that kind of stress? NO ONE.
Yet so many of us waste our time and energy seeking that validation. We compare ourselves to the famous or “successful,” we make decisions based on what our parents or friends will think, we believe what the church says we should, and we view the world the way we are told to by sources we trust, for better or worse. Hell, our president was elected largely because he gave validation to a frustrated population!
My point is that this need to be validated has real world consequences. The “powers that be” benefit from our unwillingness to think for ourselves and trust our gut. Our economy depends on your feeling inadequate and in need of more.
More what?
Doesn’t matter. Just so long as you believe you need it and are willing to pay for it.
But what if we change this?
What if we decide to trust our gut? What if we explore the paths that intrigue and delight us? What if our energy goes to those places, people, and practices that enable us to love and accept ourselves and each other to the greatest degree possible?
We’d be more secure in ourselves, and less at the mercy of the world around us. We’d finally grasp how powerful we are and just how much we have to contribute. I personally think that would be beautiful, and it is my prayer that you would join me on this long road to self-acceptance and empowerment.
You are a person created and loved just as you are. Take ownership of your choices and needs, and pursue whatever will enable you to live a life bursting at the seams with love, compassion, confidence, enjoyment, and peace. Life is too short for anything less.
Peace be with you!
love your encouraging words!
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Thank you so much! As I love yours.
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God bless you for your kind words. 🙂
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And God bless you and yours 😊
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……humbled!
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You just have to have the last word, huh? 😉
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🙂 yes 🙂
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Not this time dangit 😋 We will just have to go on for days!
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🙂 I love smiling faces! 🙂
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Here are three! 😊😊😊
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you win! 🙂
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Yes! 😁
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winning is such a blessing 🙂
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You’re sneaky… lol telling me I win as you subtly keep going for the last word. 😉
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you will have SO many comments on this post people will just HAVE to check it out! 🙂
we can call it a Quaker argument………
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I know, it’s kinda ridiculous and I love it. haha
A Quaker argument, yes. Somehow nonconfrontational yet unyielding. lol
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🙂 exactly!
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All the smiley faces have me picturing you smiling with an almost aggressive determination behind your eyes.😂
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I promise there is no agression……….I just love a challenge……..being chronically ill, there are not many challenges that I can actually win.
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While I am happy to give you such a challenge, Now I will feel just awful when I win. Well played. Lol
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🙂 oh no, don’t feel bad, I want you to treat me like any other person you would want to beat! 🙂
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Oh no, trust me, that was the plan lol your illness wont be giving you any advantages 😛
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YAY! 🙂 I love being treated just like everyone else. 🙂
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Understandably. I never liked the pitying or coddling approach. lol
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no, me either, unless I am stuck in bed for the day……..then i don’t mind 🙂
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Well, I never pity lol but yes, some extra compassionate, loving treatment would be in order on those days. 😊
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Yes, it really is appreciated……..a little bit of compassion goes a long way to show others that we care.
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It’s true. I’m sometimes stunned by the sheer lack of it I observe in the world.
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Amen……it must make God sad.
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I would think so. But just meams we have a lot of loving to do 😊
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yes! loving people to freedom.
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Pretty much. Is today treating you well?
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It is very kind of you to ask, today has been good. I have been able to take care of my kids and that is my biggest priority! 🙂
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That’s awesome 🙂 I did the same. I’m the one that stays home, with some personal training on the side.
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your child(ren) are very lucky!
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One son 😊and thank you!
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he is a very lucky boy to have parents who love him………the most important thing in a child’s life.
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Thank you.. and your children are lucky as well. How many are there? If I may ask.
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I have 4 teenagers 🙂 I am sure they have complaints and I don’t blame them one bit, but I love them bunches and bunches and I am blessed beyond measure to have them in my life.
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I am so happy that’s your perspective on it. I am sure any complaints are dwarfed by sheer admiration and gratitude. Teenagers are just bad at realizing it 😉 you seem like the kind of person that is a light in any darkness.
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What a beautiful comment, thank you so very much. Our family situation is stressful but I do my very best to let them know how much I love them and how wonderful each of them is!
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That’s the best any of us can do 😊 Family is stress. lol beautiful stress, but stress
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you are absolutely correct!
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This I know 😉
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🙂 i wish i knew more than i do.
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I do too. But then also not. I like learning and mystery.
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I enjoy learning too……….especially if I know I am not being tested on it. 🙂
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Exactly 😂 learning because I have to is different. lol
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absolutely it is! 🙂
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My son has started sitting up. All because he apparently loves pizza.
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Oh, you have a very little one, how very exciting! I know you hear this ALL – the – time, but it goes by in a blink of an eye……….my baby boy is going to be 20 soon and it is sad and amazing all at the same time. Treasure every single second!
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He is 3 months lol and that is the plan. Pictures, videos, and just soaking it all in. Congrats on successfully getting your children “grown up.” 😊 This feels like slightly more involved texting, I love the level of stubbornness this takes.
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thank you………i thought raising babies and toddlers was difficult, but that is NOTHING compared to teenagers 🙂
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Thank you for giving me that to look for to lol
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my pleasure! 🙂
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Is this day 3 of our “Comment Off?” haha
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that is a great question, I am not sure. but any day now, WP should be sending you a notice that you now have more comments on one post than any other person, ever! 🙂
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SUPER excited for that lol
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I think it should happen soon!
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Surely haha
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🙂 hope you are having beautiful weather in your neck-of-the-woods and you and your family have a very blessed weekend.
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Likewise! Just glad it’s cooling down here in Texas. If only a little.
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oh my, i bet Texas is hot. We are getting into the high 80s and low 90s the next few days.
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Real hot haha Where are yall?
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Indiana……….so 90s is very hot for September/October.
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Oooh, lovely. I’m originally fro. Colorado, kinda the same deal.
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I am guessing Colorado is a lot prettier!
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Gah, do I miss the mountains.
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